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i wish i could make a career of showing everybody the door–figuratively no less than literally, i could be a door-to-door salesman peddling one-way tickets out of this hilarious hell (slogan? the get-away of a lifetime!); i would lure the family out on false pretenses and have a demolition crew trash the house on my order, abduct the children & leave the young parents homeless, demoralized, teary-eyed. against the odds, i would raise charity money explicitly to force sterilizations en masse on the working-class; network with like-minds who held sway with more conspicuous political players to win the vote-your-conscience crowd, pass legislation to make neutering at birth as routine as circumcision once was. it could work, i would work, by night as an unregistered orderly in several hospitals where i would invert the hippocratic oath and fuck the patient charts so i could push my own agenda: morphine drips on helpless, convulsing infants. since seniors boast the highest suicide rate, are largely incapable of bearing children & are so typically infirm/demented anyway i won’t lose any sleep on how to minimize their dwindling carbon footprint. where there’s a will there’s a way, right? Published March 22nd, 2022 by DON’T SUBMIT. Read on MLC March 25th, 2022