THE LUSTY LADY SF.

girl walking down the street with a duffel bag wearing jeans but bleach blonde and black eye makeup i love seeing other strippers i say smiling as i walk to work you can see 'em a mile away! she grins back as we both keep walking our separate directions notable booths # guy who was at my audition, smiling wide as he came, later wrote a craigslist missed connections about me, super sweet # two gay boys making out. so hot # hipster couple from outside lands # S giving a blowjob to one of her well-endowed lovers (V: "it's like a burrito!") # group of girls and boys that left a condom on the window (lol) # guy with clarinet who spat on the windows (wtf) # two gay boys and one lesbian who loved my hello kitty ass coaster # GORGEOUS couple fucking # weird guy who kept wanting me to kiss the window, he ended up kissing his side.. i told him not to! it's just not clean, man. # guy with sombrero and lollipop from outside lands # cute blonde girl # cute asian couple # black guy with a freemason ring, medical marijuana pin on his jacket, who put a hershey's dark chocolate candy bar wrapper against the glass # g having us "flip the switch" so her and her best friend could see the show for free # a annoying the fuck out of me when she brought some friend that kept knocking on the glass (although she did bring me pizza and candy and 5 hour energy a few times) # dancing old man in red leopard thong # guy who brings his own dildo to fuck himself in the ass with it # guy who looks really angry while jacking off with his tongue out.. i told him he looked like an angry popsicle which doesn't even make sense but whatever. soul suckers emotional vampires etc. # young hispanic couple, so hot. # m and i doing that thing where one person pretends to be the other person's arms for this dancing couple at 2am x walk out of work at 3am see ringo in the corner fidgeting and being all small and coked-up as per usual say hello! because he's so non-threatening and he lights up fidgets with his phone so you walk with him and he asks you how you're getting home the bus you say no way! he says. i'll pay for your cab okay walk to his car sit down in his car talk for an hour listen to him talk how he's a drug dealer and has a 10 year old son and is addicted to gambling he is obsessed with holding your hand because you are not behind glass see his friend and a girl from centerfolds so sweet i always think girls from strip clubs are going to be mean to me but they are always super sweet which makes sense, they would only be mean if i'm competition, and i'm not competition outside of work so we do coke in his car and it's 4am he drives me to my house at 5am we go to jack in the box & here i am. squirt in front of six hot lesbians (one of them a birthday girl!) as they clap and cheer you on like your own personal super-hot, butch masturbation cheerleaders. miss ari. & then i got all depressed because bettina totally recognized them, saying she had seen them around the lesbian scene (her words) and it's like damn i wish i was 21 so i could go to bars and whatnot. but then i just get really happy remembering what happened. had a guy who brought in a mini-flashlight to get a better look at my pussy. also had a guy who brought in a train conductor whistle. x Right now stage smells like poop. The smell crept upon all the dancers. I thought it was a bad fart from Toi because I dislike Toi and she just ate pizza. It couldn't have come from Princess, so small, so delicate, so gothic and refined. But it wasn't me either, the smell was too foreign and I know the smell of my own butt stink. Finally Princess opened a window and confronted the smell, brought it up so all of us could face it. We all confessed we thought it was each other. We all agreed the smell was horrible. We wondered if maybe someone had pooped in a booth, a customer. It was known to happen, especially in the porn booths: someone into the video so much that, incontinent and horny, just decides to shit in the porn booth. It was my break so I offered to call the front desk. -Hi, did someone shit in the booths? -What are you trying to tell me? -It really stinks in here, and we think someone may have pooped in a booth. -Ok, I'll check it out. -Thank you. And now here I am, writing this on break, because this is my life in San Francisco where I have reached a whole other level when it comes to crap. The first few months, I walked to the public bathroom at that beach where people die cuz it's so cold to shit. I got over that. Princess thought that the putrid scent may have obtrusively wafted from the Hustler club next door, since they make fried chicken sometimes, but then there was still the issue that it smelled undeniably like human excrement. After a minute of serious thought, I told her that the only way to explain the simultaneously scent of feces and chicken grease would be that someone was getting fisted with Crisco. "Hmm," she said, while staring at my kitten heels. Once a man was rolling a joint in one of the booths. The dancers on stage let it pass, we just told him not to light it up. We know that people use the booths to do various drugs on rare occasions, and we told him we appreciated the fact that he was at least paying for a space to do this in rather than using the bathroom. His rolling the joint in his tiny booth, however, made the entire stage smell like a delicious marijuana hotbox paradise. I mentioned this to Princess, and she said, "Don't tell me that! I'm a shop stewart!" I said that I actually didn't have any weed, and then she said that she knew that I was just kidding. And of course after knowing something incriminating about someone else, she has been nicer to me ever since. x Published February 11th, 2020 on her Neutral Spaces blog.