AFTER SHOWER BLOG

I’m not JUST in love I was in love with escapism lust and drugs it’s what I did after Mila it’s what I did after Ryan it’s what I did with Benson and You and then you were two at the same time and that’s why it was so powerful and still is. Because I don’t want to get better or find a better “healthier” way to deal with shit. Because life has choices and I’m not blaming James Crampton leaving me impoverished and giving yet another woman loose skin because of rapid weight loss after he had no money left to give or Ryan for not giving me his coke dealers number (I have no respect for anyone who can’t fucking cop their own shit). I’m not like my girlfriend who blames her meth addiction on her ex that tried to kill her because she wanted to have something in common with her again even though she wouldn’t even sleep with her anyways because she slept with so many people her body repulsed her kind of like mine did earlier. I’m not blaming anyone else I’m tracing my footsteps and seeing how long I’ve been passed out on the cement flat on my fucking face. Everything about this world says I don’t belong in it; everything about this world says it’s about damn time I showed up. It autocorrected the last word to “you” but I changed it. Thank Jesus Christ for me <—sentence made through auto suggest or whatever it’s called. Kat G made some awesome poems that way, I remember reading them on here. I smell like coconut. Published July 23rd, 2020 on her Neutral Spaces blog.